The Shadow Self

When I think about the concept of the “Shadow Self” I always find my eyebrows somewhat raised… 🙂 Whether it is in response to a feeling of “oh boy… what is this about?” or “oooh this is really interesting and exciting!” But either way taking the courage to delve deep into the shadow of my being has taught me many lessons, including that it is essential section on the lifelong journey to becoming a truly integrated and wholesome human being.

I like fr. Jim Cogley’s explanation of the Shadow Self where he describes “The shadow is like a cellar where I dump and lock away everything that I am ashamed of or don’t like about myself. Paradoxically the shadow is like manure that produces the best vegetables, it is essential for wholeness and integration. Learning to befriend my shadow is a key to feeling at home with myself and to releasing my creative potential.”

This is truly a vast topic and I could probably write a book about, but reading Cogley’s words this morning was once again a good reminder for me to embrace both, what I experience as “good” or “light” and “bad” or “shadow” within myself. In truth the one cannot exist without the other, and often two opposites are the two sides of the same coin; happiness/sadness, love/hate, acceptance/rejection and so on.  And suppressing one of these or dumping these into a cellar like Cogley said is suppressing or dumping a part of my authentic self, which in turn seeps out in reactions to or judgements of others and will continue to seek expression or eventually control some of my actions from the unconscious (cellar-like) places. This in turn reminds me of famous quote by Carl Jung “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Suppressing our shadows does not make it disappear, like a trap-door spider it retreats into the dark crevices of our being, and at the right moment it jumps out an unsuspecting “prey”. This is usually followed by “I’m sorries” and “I didn’t mean thats” etc.  But when we can befriend these shadows and accept them as part of who we are, we get to know where in our story they fit in and we can choose to clean and heal those wounds, where they spring forth from. Sometimes, not all that have been banished to the shadows are “bad”. There could be a treasure-trove of “selves” that have been suppressed for a myriad of reasons, and only comes out to see the light of day, when triggered unsuspected. If the  modus operandi is anger, rejection and violence, there must be love, acceptance and peace in the shadows; that have been suppressed for reasons known or unknown.

Claiming our shadow self, can be extremely empowering, as it gives us the power of choice. We can then choose to act from this part of the self or the other part of the self. Do I react to a comment from a place of love and acceptance or do I react from the angry or rejecting place? I can only have that choice if I know and integrate both parts. Which puts me in charge of my life, my interactions and responses to the constant mirrors around me.

The idea might bring up more raised eyebrows or even fear. But you have nothing to lose, only to gain. If you are willing to meet you fully – from a heart space, with love and acceptance you can only gain. Who knows what or who you might meet in the shadows of your own being. Embrace every part and get acquainted… you will meet many hidden treasures that is you.

I will leave you with these final words from fr Jim Cogley….

“The grass is always greener over the sceptic tank!”